Finally Home!

WE'RE HOME! And let me tell you,getting here was no small undertaking. It's taken a few days of recovery here, so I'm just now finally updating. I have never in my life experienced such a frustrating two days of travel. I can tell you this for sure too--good rates or not, we will NEVER fly American Airlines again. Now, in retrospect, I should have known things were going to get hairy when we had trouble at the Mexican border on Saturday. We laughed it off and jokingly said we hoped our whole trip home wasn't that difficult. Ha! It turned out not to be a joke!

We left Tijuana on Saturday evening after shopping at Rosarita Beach, the open-air market I told you about last time we went. I thought that Kristi and my mom needed to experience it, so we built our entire day around it. They loved it, and blew a bunch of money (apparently all women respond well to retail therapy!) in the booths. It took us forever to get a van from the hospital to San Diego. They overbooked the 5 p.m. departure that I had reserved, so we had to wait for another diver, which took until about 6:15. Then, when we arrived at the border station, we waited another hour for our turn to be inspected. Last time we left Tijuana they opened the van door, looked around, asked us a few questions, and sent us on our way. This time, no such luck. Apparently the border patrol officer at our station was in a bad mood, because he informed us that we, and all of our belongings, needed to go inside and cross the border on foot. So we lugged all of our carefully packed and very heavy suitcases through the turnstyle and up to the counter where they looked at us, asked a few questions, and let us pass. Next we had to put all our suitcases throught the x-ray machine. It was loud, and chaotic, and people were pushing and trying to hurry through the machines ahead of us. Then, as suddenly as the whole thing began, we were back outside and it was all over. It really went pretty fast, until we tried finding our driver. We expected him at the circle drive right in fron of us, but he was no where to be seen. Finally, he walked up behind us, took some of the luggage, and led us across two train tracks then down a long sidewalk to a distant parking lot where he re-loaded the van. Talk about inconvenient! We couldn't believe he had to park and come get us on foot. Then he had to pay his way out of the lot. No wonder our wait was so long. I guess they walked everyone across the border that night. We were extremely relieved that night to arrive at our clean, modern, quiet, hotel for the evening. It took three hours to go 30 miles.

San Diego was beautiful. We have found that airline tickets are more expensive if you return within a week of your departure, so on both trips we have had a day in the city to enjoy. This time we took a trolley tour and saw a great deal of what San Diego has to offer. We want to spend more time there when I'm well, and now we know more about what we want to see. The real adventure of our homecoming, however, began Monday when we tried to fly home.

We made it to the airport in plenty of time with all of our things. We were scheduled to fly close to the same time; Mom and Kristi at 12:15 or so to KC, and we planned to depart just before them to Dallas at 11:50. It's a small airport, and there is nothing (NOTHING!) to do there, but we took the advice of the hotel clerk and arrived with two hours to spare for security and anything else that might come up. So we arrived at the airport about 9:45, got through security in record time, and then found out that our flight had been delayed until 12:45 due to bad weather in Dallas. We were fed already, but found a Starbucks booth (one of only 2 food vendors there!) and had a coffee, and then sat and waitied. And waited. It was really crowded. People were just everywhere, and most of them were complaining about the delay. Kristi and Mike had had just about enough of each other , and no one had much left to say to each other. I felt pretty good, I guess that's a plus. But the wait seemed really long. Finally Kristi and Mom left to go catch their plane, which later went off without a hitch. We were not so lucky.

You don't want a minute by minute explanation of this I know, so I will shorten it some. Our plane never came. As our departure time neared and we had no plane at our gate we were informed that our plane was close and circling, waiting for a turn to land. Then they told us that our plane was nearly out of fuel so it was flying to Palm Springs to refuel. Then they said it was going to stay in Palm Springs to allow some people to deplane (why?). It would be here soon. Then they told us it wasn't coming at all. They were instead going to send us another plane, but it wouldn't be here until 7 p.m. That was when we got fed up. We had been patient all day. But now 200 people were trying to reschedule flights and get hotel rooms. I got smart and called the 800 number on my ticket instead of standing in line at the ticket desk, and that was a good thing. Then we went to the front ticket desk to see about getting them to pay for a room for the night. They's be happy to--only the computer to make the reservations was down at the moment. We would need to wait and see if it came back up. We found our own hotel. Before leaving the airport, we needed to go retrieve our checked baggage. Here's where the real clincher came. When they found our luggage, Mike's bag had been severely damaged--the whole end where the extendable handle is was badly bent as though something had run over it. This was a huge, costly Samsonite bag we just bought, and the supports were metal. There was nothing we could do to reshape it. And best of all, it never even left the airport! We couldn't believe it. It was a real slap in the face at the end of a grueling day.

We went back to our now very-familiar Hampton Inn in downtown San Diego (after another hour's wait, due to miscommunication regarding the van they were driving. We hadn't been looking for a Residence Inn van.). We went out for a very nice Italian dinner, then we went to bed. We were ready to go at it tomorrow and finally just get home. There was one more surprise in store for us in the morning.

Tuesday when we got up we were focused on getting home. We were ready in a hurry and the shuttle got us to the airport. It was when we tried to check our bags at the curb that we first discovered a problem. Though we had our boarding passes already, our airline had somehow flagged us for an additional security check. So we had to lug all our things up a level to the ticket desk, wait in line again, then go to security where they did the preliminary check like everyone else, but then we had to identify everything that was ours (we had mixed it up on the way in the bins) without touching our things, then we were taken to a separate area where all of our items were hand searched, followed by a physical search of our bodies. All this time I wanted to scream at someone. WHAT IS GOING ON!?! No one in security had any information for us. All they said was that sometimes when you have a change in your ticket date they do this. But it wasn't even our fault! I was on the verge of breakdown. I was exhausted and teary and couldn't speak. I've never been so angry and humiliated in my life. Obviously, they found nothing of concern and sent us on our way.

We made it to our gate in time to board. Our flight went quickly as did our connection in Dallas. We were overjoyed when we pulled into the airport nearly 24 hours later than expected. By this time I was completely worn out. Given my condition and the reasons for our travel in the first place, I never should had been subjected to this sort of treatment. Not one person, anywhere along the line, made any kind of offer for people who might need assistance or who might have some other special need. We were deeply disappointed in our airline. They will hear about it from me and I plan to get some kind of satisfaction in all this!

So you can see why updating my blog has taken a few days. I have spent a lot of time on the couch the last two days resting. Overall, I feel good. I think I feel stronger than I did a few weeks ago. Let's hope and pray that continues. It's Friday now, and there's not going to be much to write about coming up. I do have my third trip to Mexico scheduled for March 20, and Mike will stay home this time. I think that will be easier on the kids. After that I shouldn't need to go for three months. Now I just have to keep on keeping on! Hope everyone feels free to call, visit, or email over the coming weeks! I'm pretty sure I don't have a lot planned! Lots of love to you all! Sandi

A Beautiful Day in Sunny Mexico

We have just spent another beautiful day here in Tijuana, where the weather is, from what I'm told, a little nicer than what many of you are experiencing. It was sunny and breezy and about 75 today. It was an uneventful day mostly, but I wanted to at least post a note so no one would worry.

Over the last few days I have had a series of treatments, including my hi-doses of vitamin C, the infamous B-17 (that's the stuff that can't be used in the USA), and this stuff called Perftec, which does something in conjunction with oxygen, so I have spent a lot of time hooked up to an oxygen tank as well. Yesterday my treatments started late morning and seemed to take the entire day. I finally was able to get up and around near 8:30 p.m. I was about to go stir crazy!I'm finished with all my treatments for the week now, so now it's back to the at-home supplements and pills and shots. Today I went to the pharmacy and spent another $1000 on those new meds, but now I'm all squared away. It sure seems like this treatment option is not a cheap route to go. I am so thankful though, to be blessed to already have the money I need, thanks to continued donations and gifts from friends and family.

Since today's treatments took less time, we has quite a bit of time to explore a bit more of Tijuana. Nothing exotic; just a nearby church, grocery store, and later a lighthouse. The grocery store was entertaining. Many of the items were difficult to identify, and some things that are common in the US are sold at Mexican stores but with very different packaging and flavors. Cough drops come in grape and pineapple flavors, and Tang comes in 16oz packages in a wide array of flavors including lime, coconut, pineapple, and something white that was unidentifiable. Yogurt is sold in apple flavor. Laundry detergent comes packaged in bags, and one kind advertised lime-scented detergent. In the deli/bakery section, pastries and breads were piled high on racks in the open air, with no covering of any kind. Kelloggs makes a lot of cereal kinds you've never before seen or heard of! It was very interesting.

A short walk in the other direction reminded us how close we really are to the American border. When a person walks out the doors of the hospital here, the predominant sight is that of the front gate of a bull-fighting arena. It's a hugh red and white arched gate, behind which is this enormous empty parking lot. At the back of that is the arena itself. You can't see much of it. Anyhow, on the left side of this gate, about 2 blocks down, is the beach. On the right side of the gate, there are some offices and eventually a restaurant. Just beyond that is the fence separating Tijuana from the US. You can walk right up to it. It's metal and about 20 feet high. Through it you can see an expansive empty area we refer to as "no-man's land," that place that is carefully guarded day and night by helicopters, lights, and video cameras. Oddly enough, on the USA side, there is a well kept park, with picnic tables and everything. On the Mexico side is a working lighthouse and a street that takes you down to the beach behind the bull-fighting arena. Tonight, at the park, they were all set up to do some TV interviews with the beach as a background. We could tell by the chairs and microphones, spotlights and video cameras. We never did figure out what was going on with that. All of our sightseeing today was certainly an education for all of us.

Tomorrow we are leaving the hospital for our return. We will be staying in San Diego for a few days and doing a little sightseeing if possible. I feel pretty good, right now, so hopefully that will continue. We will be back on Monday evening at 8:05 p.m. I think there will be a rude awakening given the weather I have heard about. It's pretty late right now and I'm tired, so I'm done for today. I'll let you know if anthing important comes up. I seem to be having trouble putting coherent thoughts together. For now, it's adios, amigos!

And Now, What You've All Been Waiting For...

We have news! And though it's not staggeringly good news, it isn't bad either. So, here it is:
Basically, little has changed since we began treatments. Which means the regimen I'm using has stopped the cancer from progressing. It just hasn't done too much to turn it around in the other direction. So, it's just like I said. Not the best news, but not bad. The doctors would have liked to see more progress, but the lack of forward progress is not disturbing.

Actually, what happened yesterday when I saw the doctor was this: He said, "So, how have you been feeling since you were here last time?" and I told him what I've told many of you who have asked, "I haven't felt much of a difference at all. I feel a little stronger, maybe, but not much change at all." and the doctor chuckled and said, "Well, that's pretty much what your CT scan shows. Compared to your last visit, we see very little change." Which isn't all bad, he went on to explain. Nothing is any larger or more pronounced. Nothing new has appeared either. What this means, however, is a change in my treatment plan is necessary.

Apparently this is not going to be a big change at this point. The doctor mentioned that (as I have probably brought up at some point before) there is a regimen that includes chemo, but we are not going to go that route yet. Instead we will add some other "oral elements" or basically a few more supplements to what we are already doing. These elements, the doctor said, are what they use with their "tougher" or "more resistant" cases, though he said he would not at this point classify me as a "tough case". Anyhow, we will put in these new medications and give it a few weeks to see how it goes. At that point we will again make a decision about raising things a level again. We still haven't used every approach we have, and we don't want to. We want to keep something on the back burner to pull out as a last resort. Let's just pray we never have to use it.

Considering my lack of progress, it's easy to see why I really couldn't tell a difference in the way I feel. I had expected the news to be something like this; again it's that intuition thing. I just knew we hadn't blown it away. I can't say I was terribly disappointed, given that I had expected this result. I'm just thrilled that things aren't moving in the wrong direction. That alone, is a blessing to me! Some of you undoubtedly wonder how Mike and my mom and sister feel about the lack of progress, and though I haven't heard them say much, I get the feeling they all had really hoped for more, but are happy with the fact that we have at leased stopped the cancer for now. I'll probably hear more about that today.

I feel pretty good since I have been here. Tuesday was a long day of treatments. I had just about everything they offer. Some things had to be given very slowly over several hours because of a reaction I had at one time before. That made it seem like a very long day. Today they are about ready to get started again. I have all my treatments again today too, starting in about 30 minutes. I guess that means I'd better go get dressed. This is not like a hospital at home where you check in and get in bed. We are all up and around and dressed each day until bedtime, and we come and go as we please. I can go to the beach or the store if I want, as long as I've had my treatments and no one is looking for me. It's all very realxed. Yesterday the doctors even came looking for me in the cafeteria during lunch. Then they waited for me to finish. Whole different world!

Well, I'll let you all know if there's anything worth telling you about today. Until then, goodbye, and Happy Valentines Day!

Return to Mexico

Hello from fairly warm and kinda sunny Mexico! We arrived at the hospital today for what turned out to mostly be a wasted day, but at least the weather was pretty nice. Looks like the rest of the week is supposed to be warm and sunny, so I look forward to getting out and around a bit each day. We will be here for a week this time, returning home on Monday.

Our flight yesterday was uneventful (though they had to hold the plane a few moments for us in Springfield, because we mis-read our tickets and hadn't gone through security when they called our names for final boarding!) and we arrived in San Diego by 6:30 local time. My sister and mom were already waiting for us in the hotel, and after settling in we walked over to a nearby seafood house for a wonderful (and yet, still on my diet as much as possible) dinner. This morning the van for Oasis picked us up at the hotel and brought us across the border to the hospital.

Now that I think about it, the theme for the day has been "wait", which Mike has had significantly more trouble doing than I have. Our van to the hotel was an hour late, for starters. We weren't really on any schedule, so it wasn't a big deal. Apparently there was also a pickup at the airport, and the plane was late. After we were in the van it seemed like no time until we arrived at the hospital. Once we arrived, however,we had to wait for our rooms to be ready. Our patient representative was there to greet us, but she had another patient, a brand new one, to get settled, so we waited for someone else to help us. This time. our rooms are down in the basement, or first floor, as it's called here. When we arrived at our rooms (we have 2, since we have extra people), the first one was occupied! We actually unlocked to door to find people who were supposed to be gone yesterday. So, we locked that door back up and the hospital rep took us to the other room reserved for us while they figured out what was going on. We looked around the new room, and it was not much different from what we had last time. A little better, maybe, but no place for four people to sit and visit. A quick decision was made to put us in the room at the end of the hall--one they don't use for patients because it's saved for the owner's family. It was nice--it had a recliner, a couch, and lots of room. So we settled in there and waited to see if they could remove the people who weren't supposed to be in our room.

Hospital people came in and out for various reasons, we filled out some paperwork, then they asked me not to eat so I could have a blood test. A lab tech came and drew blood, then a nurse took vital signs, and then we waited some more. A doctor came to visit, and a CT scan was ordered. It would be in the next few hours. Apparently I was not going to be able to eat lunch because of it. As we got settled, we discovered that the TV had no remote. A phone call was made to a representative, and we waited for that (not such a big deal to me, but it was to some people). I wasn't scheduled for any treatments, so we just waited for lunch. Mom and Kristi thought all the fresh food was great. We will see how long that lasts. I didn't get to eat, so I just watched. Then we went back down to our room to wait for the CT. We waited, and waited, and called to see what was going on, only to find out that the CT machine broke, and all the waiting was for nothing! At least I could go have dinner. So we waited for that.

During our wait for dinner, they resolved the room issue, and we had to move out of the room we were now settled into. That wasn't a big deal, except we had just THAT MINUTE gotten a remote for the TV (which , by that point, was pretty funny). So, now we are settled into two rooms. No couch, but a few comfortable chairs. We can all hang out in the bigger room, and Mom and Kristi will just retire to the smaller room for bed. While waiting for dinner, I started working on today's blog.

Finally it was time to eat! On our way to dinner I locked the door behind me, then immediately realized that I needed my supplements to take with my meal. I turned around to open the lock, and--wasn't this our day?--the key didn't work. We were locked out of our room. So, we had to wait for the nurse to come back to the desk, then wait for the patient representative to rescue us with a key that worked.

Finally we had dinner. It was NOT worth waiting for. Sometimes the food here is wonderful, but sometimes it is really strange. Tonight, nothing was identifiable. I was so hungry! I was very disappointed.

Now, as I write, settled in my room with the knowledge that I will have my CT first thing tomorrow (I'm first!), it seems like we have had a rather wasted day. Well, at least we got all that out of the way. Tomorrow should be much better. I have treatments all day after my CT, which should satisfy my mom's curiosity. She's been wondering what my treatments are like. Also, within a day or two, we should know if the tumors are regressing like they should. When I spoke to the doctor today, she asked me how it was going. I commented that it seemed to be going wery slow. She nodded her head and said, "Yes, it will seem very slow. That's because it's naturopathic. It works very slowly." I thought that was reassuring. Pray like crazy these next few days that things are going in the right direction!

As I read over this I realize I sound rather grumpy about this whole thing. Really, I'm not. It's just been a crazy day. I'm glad I knew my way around the place and who to call for what, or we would have run screaming from the hospital. What I haven't mentioned, is that I really feel pretty good. Compared to how I felt when we were here a few weeks ago, I think I feel stronger. Maybe it's my imagination, but yesterday's flights and treks through the airports seemed easier, and I was even able to walk to and from dinner fairly comfortably, even after a long day of travel. I am encouraged by this. It's so hard to see a change when I'm just sitting around at home. Speaking of that, even, I have been able to do more at home. It might just be that my pain control is better. Or maybe healing really is taking place. Keep praying! I need all the prayers I can get!

I'm going to wrap it up for today. I can't imagine that there's anything else to tell you all about. It's nice to hear the comments from those of you who post them, so keep those coming. I'll try to keep the blog updated all week. Talk to you all soon! Love, Sandi

Another Long-Awaited Update

This is the second time today I have written this blog. How aggravating! I wrote it out once this morning and was about one paragraph from finishing when the computer locked up without warning, and I lost the whole thing! There was nothing I could do. It felt like writing a paper for school and forgetting to save it. Ah, well, maybe this second version will be better!

It's been a while. I apologize for that. I have been chastised again by a variety of people, so I thought I'd better get with it. I know that some of you received an update at school through a letter Rick forwarded from Sheryl, and while I appreciate that Sheryl was giving you all an update, I thought it sounded a bit glum and that it might worry some of you into thinking that I wasn't really felling like myself. The part where she said I hadn't updated because I "didn't know what to write" might have been the most concerning of all to those of you who know me well. Most of you know I love to write, and could never truly be at a loss of what to write about. For the most part, the possibilities are endless. A more accurate statement would be that I don't really have anything interesting to say in the blog. I've used this communication source for updates on my condition, and since nothing is really going on except the extremely slow process of healing, there 's not much to update on. Overall, I feel pretty much the same as the last time I wrote.

Many of us had hoped for a much faster result, I know. People all the time tell me that they expected me to come back from Mexico feeling better and that I would improve noticeably while I was at home. Unfortunately, we are not in control of the timeline here, so we have to be patient and continue to believe in the treatment method we have chosen, with the faith that it will work, given time. I think it's a lot like watching grass grow. It's pretty uninteresting to watch and nothing seems to happen at all, but one day you wake up and it's gotten so long you have to cut it or lose sight of the house from the street. I think healing is happening where we can't see it yet.

We will have the chance to see how I'm doing soon though. I'm going to Mexico again on Sunday, and there should be a CT scan on Monday with results probably the next day. If the doctor doesn't see significant progress internally, he will begin a more aggressive treatment that very day. They have more options than what I'm currently doing; backup, so to say. They are even seeing me a little early; 5 weeks instead of the usual 6. This doctor is aware of my stage of illness, he knows it's pretty late in the game. But at that clinic, there have been many people healed who are worse off than me. This doctor wants to get a jump on things in case it's not working like he would like to see. I'm not too concerned, though. I see little improvements, which I will tell you about in just a moment.

As far as our trip goes, we will arrive at the hospital on Monday, February 12, and we will return home on Monday, February 19. We will be at the hospital until Saturday. During the week, I will see the doctor each day, have some tests, and take the IV treatments like last time I was there. Then I will come home and resume my home protocol. This time, in addition to Mike, my sister and mom plan to come to the hospital as companions. They plan to see what it's like to be a rabbit for a while. I'm excited to have them see this place; it's pretty special.

People I see continue to ask how I feel, and usually I tell them that I feel about the same. I guess I down-play the improvement when people ask because on a day to day basis, I feel so little change.That's probably a little misleading. In small ways, I do think I feel a little better. I'm able to eat more without so much discomfort, and I'm up and around more than I was right after coming home. I think we finally have my pain issues worked out. I have been on pain killers for so long they seemed to not be working very well, but then I found out I was on a pretty low dose. They increased it substantially and that seems to have helped. I don't feel drugged, but I feel almost normal where I usually have so much discomfort. On a daily basis, I don't really think about how I feel, so it's often hard to anwer that question when people ask. So if I see you or talk to you and you ask how I feel, I might be pretty vague. Please don't be offended or think I'm blowing off your question, because I don't mean to offend. I'm just keeping my eye one the prize at the end, and I think that how I feel today isn't really all that important. One of these days my answer is going to be "great!" and I will mean it!

One thing I forgot to mention to you all in my blog is a procedure I had done on my kidneys. I may have mentioned in an earlier post that the doctor in Mexico saw a blockage of one kidney and recommended that I have that fixed. I saw a urologist when we got back and last week I spent about three hours at the hospital having stents put in both ureters; one to remove the pressure causing the blockage and the other to prevent the other kidney from having the same problem. It was a painless outpatient procedure and it had no lasting effects on how I feel. I was in and out pretty quick, and there was no incision involved. I'll have to have the stents changed eventually. Then it's even easier and they do the procedure in the doctors office most of the time. So I guess we can say that's one problem resolved.

Well, I guess I've probably covered everything in terms of an update. I may not write again until we are in Mexico, and then I will probably write every day or two. If any of you have any questions in between times I write, please don't be afraid to call me (I prefer my cell phone) or email me. I get the feeling some of you stay away because you don't want to "bother" me, or because you don't know what to say. You guys are my friends, and I'd love to hear from you. You can talk to me about anything you'd normally talk to me about. I may have a serious illness, but I don't spend all my time thinking about it. I miss my friends. I love to hear from you and hear what's going on in your lives, and at school. I even like it when my friends tell me about their problems. None of this "but you have enough to worry about ..." nonsense. Actually, I'd love to talk about somebody else for a change. I'm tired of talking about me!

That does it for now. Hope everyone has a good day, and that I get this posted without losing it again. I don't really feel like doing this a third time. Love and blessings! Sandi