Wow....I can't believe it has been five years. So much has changed and it seems surreal sometimes that life is going on without her. Sometimes I stop and feel sad for the things Sandi has missed. Logan turning 16, Lauren finishing elementary school and getting ready for Junior High. My move to Omaha, going to college and later this month Graduating as a nurse. Her sister in law and mother in law getting married, so many things in our lives moving ahead and yet always with a shadow over them wishing that she had been here to share them with us. Not a single day goes by that she doesn't cross my mind. I can't help but think that she would be happy and proud of us for moving ahead with our lives and making our marks, doing the things that make us happy. I know that she would have been very proud of us and happy for us but I can't help but wonder how much better it would have been to have her here to celebrate with us!

We love you and miss you Sandi. We can only hope that we would have been making you proud and helping to carry on your legacy of helping others and showing the love of God to others.

Hard to believe...

I can't believe it has been three years already! Still feels like it was just yesterday sometimes and others it feels like a hundred years ago! We are all doing well, I think Sandi would have been proud of the kids! They are growing like weeds, doing well in school and in so many ways taking after her! It is great to see them grow up and see little bits of her in them!

We still miss and think about her daily but mostly we remember the great impact she had on all of our lives!

We love you Sandi!

Two Years

It hardly seems possible that Sandi has been gone for two whole years. It seems like just yesterday when I was able to talk to her on the phone and share what was going on in our lives! That said each day sometimes seems like it is two years long because I miss her so much! Overall I think she would be very proud of her kids and Mike and how well they have adjusted to life without her. Not that it has been easy but she wanted them to be able to live happy lives. Feel free to post here your thoughts and memories, I plan to keep the blog open till blogger drags it out of my cold dead fingers so no worries about it going away any time soon.

We love you and miss you so much Sandi.

Kristi

Thank You

As Sandi's family we want to thank all of you that have been there for Sandi. Many of her friends and loved ones visited her regularly and wanted to let her know how much she was loved. The Memorial service and Funeral were truly beautiful and I think she would have been happy that we chose to celebrate the time she was with us. It does not make it easier when our hearts are hurting and we are having a weak moment feeling sorry for ourselves but we will all find as time goes on that we can think of the good and great times with her without tears coming to our eyes.

For those of you who were not able to be at the graveside service, we buried Sandi at the Rivermonte Cemetery which is visible at the intersection of Hwy 65 and Hwy 60. She loved the thought that we would all think of her every time we drove past. When you look up the hill know that Sandi is resting in the shadow of the three large crosses.

One of the more touching moments in the graveside service was a surprise for Logan and Lauren. Sandi loved butterflies, you may have read in past posts that we even raised them in her hospital room, watching them transform from ordinary caterpillars to beautiful painted ladies. The staff at the funeral home heard of this and managed to find butterflies for the children to release at her graveside. While Sandi was never ordinary, I like to think that Sandi was like those butterflies. She was a caterpillar here on earth and has now gone through that difficult transformation to become as free as one of those beautiful creatures. It was very touching to see the butterflies fluttering around at the service.

I am not sure if this will be the last post here, more than likely it will. I think that it is time for closure and trying to heal our hearts.

Sandi...

We love you and miss you more than words can say.

Sandra Gail (Creighton) Gaddy

Sandi was born Sandra Gail Creighton on August 24, 1973 in Milford, Massachusetts. She was the third child of Roger and Carol Creighton. Her father was in the United States Navy which afforded the family the opportunity to move frequently during her young childhood, living in Massachusetts, New Jersey, North Carolina and even overseas in Edzell, Scotland. When Sandi was 10 her father retired from the Navy and moved to the small town of Rolla, Missouri. Sandi attended school in Rolla where she became very active in school activities including cheerleading, drama, the school newspaper, the yearbook, and many clubs and activities. She graduated from Rolla High School in 1991 and then attended Southwest Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri. She pursued her teaching degree with the zeal with which she approached everything in her life. She married her high school sweetheart Michael on July 10, 1993 and graduated from college in May of 1995. She began her teaching career in Chadwick, Missouri and within a few short years began teaching at Rogersville Middle school where she was employed until her death. She and Michael had two beautiful children, Logan and Lauren, who will miss her terribly but will be able to know that their mother was loved and appreciated by many people.

Four years ago Sandi was diagnosed with Colon Cancer at the age of 29. She approached her illness as she approached everything in her life, with determination. She was positive she would beat the cancer that was such a shock and nine months later the Doctors thought she had. Unfortunately just three months later when she attended her checkup they determined that it had returned. She fought with every fiber of her being three times in three years to beat this horrible disease and continued to fight until her last breath just over four years after her original diagnosis.

Sandi was very active in the Ozark United Methodist Church. She taught Sunday school, played in the bell choir and helped with the Upward basketball program. Throughout the struggles with her illness Sandi never blamed God; in fact He strengthened her faith and gave her the courage to continue fighting. She believed that God held her up and helped her fight. Her faith never wavered and in true Sandi fashion, she led the way, showing her family and friends what true faith in God was.

Sandi lost her battle with cancer on Sunday, June 3, 2007. She was preceded in death by her maternal and paternal grandparents, and infant brother. She is survived by her Husband and two children. Her parents, her mother-in-law Carol Gaddy, her father-in-law Gene Gaddy and his wife Sarah, her sister Kristi Hicks and husband Kevin and their children Katie, Megan and Abigail, her sister-in-law Kelly Jo Goforth and husband Ben and their daughters Emily and Hannah, and friends too numerous to name.

Sandi will be missed by many but forgotten by none. We will keep her in our hearts and minds and take comfort in knowing that she is finally healed and in Heaven with her Savior, Jesus Christ.

Memorial Fund

We have been inundated with requests for the address to send donations for the memorial fund Sandi wanted us to establish in her name. She felt so very strongly about this, I know she would be happy that so many of you are wanting to contribute.

Citizens Bank of Rogersville
Sandra Gaddy Memorial Scholarship Fund
P.O. Box 50
Rogersville, MO 65742

We had a beautiful memorial service for Sandi last night out at the middle school where she taught and it would have meant a lot to her to see so many of her students in attendance.

Arrangements

A memorial service will be held at Rogersville Middle School on Wednesday June 6^th at 6pm and the funeral service will be held at Ozark United Methodist Church in Ozark, MO on Thursday June 7, 2007 at 2 pm. The family requests that donations be made to the Sandra Gaddy Memorial Scholarship Fund in lieu of flowers. Both services under the direction of Klingner-Cope Funeral Home at Rivermonte in Springfield, MO.

Internment will be at Rivermonte cemetery following the funeral on Thursday, you are welcome to follow and join us at the graveside.

Sad Day

Sandra Gail Creighton Gaddy went home to be with God this afternoon at 1:40 pm. She passed quickly and peacefully. She was so happy to know how many people were praying for her and keeping her in their thoughts. We take comfort in knowing that she is now in a better place and is watching over us and is finally whole again. I will post arrangements as soon as we know what they are.

12 Weeks Today

It has officially been twelve weeks today since Sandi was admitted to the hospital. Tomorrow we will have been here at Walnut lawn as long as we were up on the 5th floor at Cox South. It is hard to believe, we still feel sometimes like we are training nurses here. We will miss them when we are gone..... but not like we still miss the staff on 5 west!

Sandi is doing well still. She is sleepy in the mornings but has been working her tail off trying to strengthen her legs and arms doing physical therapy. We work on getting her up and out of bed twice a day. She can stand with some help and yesterday we managed to get her into a wheelchair that allowed us to sit her by the sink so she could have her hair washed and cut. She said it felt great. Imagine going three months without having your hair REALLY washed! We have been using the shower caps for washing her hair but the feeling of actual water running over her head was a luxury she had missed! Dee did a terrific job cutting her hair and it is really cute. Much easier to take care of when we get out of here!

THAT'S RIGHT! I said OUT OF HERE! Sandi is headed home! We spent a day earlier this week interviewing home health agency's and hospices and managed to find one that we think will be the perfect fit! Season's hospice will be helping us take Sandi home next week. One week from today in fact! We will spend the time between now and then trying to make sure we have her care as simple as possible and trying to move out of here. Six weeks allows you to accumulate a LOT of stuff! Computers, sewing machines, books, cd's, posters, tea machines, refrigerators. You name it, we probably have it here! As much of a pain as it will be to move it all back out, it has made our stay feel much less clinical and more homey. Every person that walks in the room for the first time spends time looking around and is overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support Sandi has shown on these walls. I don't think we will be decorating her walls at home however, she is just happy to get the opportunity to see those walls again!

Sandi will be happy to have visitors at home but we probably need to wait at least until Friday to visit to make sure we have her settled in and acquainted with the staff of her new hospice and she can have a chance to rest after the hassle of the ambulance ride home! Those cots are not meant for patients with no padding!

I am going to sign off for now. We have an appointment with PT!

Butterflies

Day 88....

And counting...

I have been gone for a few days again, I know you all know that because I don't post when I am not here. Sandi is still doing well, she seems to be getting a bit stronger and is able to sit up on the side of the bed a few times a day. Today she asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich so Mom and I jumped to get it for her because she doesn't have much of an appetite for anything these days! What Sandi want's Sandi gets!

Yesterday was a busy day with Sandi's sister in law Jo having a party for her Daughter who graduated from High School on Tuesday and I had a party for the twins who will turn 7 next weekend. We were all running around yesterday, I hear that the party for Emily went well and there were over 25 people at my mother in law's house last night to have ice cream cake with Megan and Abby.

It is possible that we are looking at breaking Sandi out of this joint in a week or so to take her home with Hospice. Right now we are not positive and until now Sandi wouldn't even consider it but as the months wear on here it looks like a better and better idea especially since my kids will be out of school and we can move up here to help take care of her at home. This will be much easier in some ways and more difficult in others but will probably give her much desired time with her kids as well as more privacy than all of us living in one room for three months together has afforded her. Until now she has not wanted to take this illness home with her and make it more real in their home but I think three months in a hospital room has changed her outlook on that just a bit. More on this as the situation develops!

For now I will leave you with some pictures of the butterflies that we have been raising in Sandi's room. Jami brought some caterpillars for Lauren to raise and we decided to keep them here. As soon as they spun themselves into their chrysalis' we put them in the butterfly cage as we were told to by the directions and waited. Just nine days later we have two that have hatched? There has been some discussion about whether that is the correct term or not! I think Mom and Sandi and I are more excited about this than the kids but hey...we spend more time with them! Those nasty looking brown things are more cocoons waiting to be butterflies! Any ideas on what we should name our new friends? Hope and Faith comes to mind as good name choices but since those are the names of my husbands second cousins I hesitate to name them that. Guess we will keep working on it!

Have a happy Memorial Day and keep in mind all of those that have died for our freedom and pray for the safety of those that are currently fighting so that we may enjoy all of the freedoms and security that we take so much for granted! Be safe!

Three in a Row!

Yes I know, Three days in a row! How lucky you all are! Sandi is very sleepy today and is doing well. We actually got some sleep last night and it appears that Sandi was not ready for the night to be over. She tries to wake up but isn't so successful.

Gina Daniels and her mom Carol Snow were here this morning to visit from Rolla and she loves the visits from old classmates and friends. Those of us that are here are just trying to be somewhat entertaining when she wants to chat or watching tv with her when she doesn't. We have a set date for Tuesdays and Wednesdays for American Idol and try not to watch too much daytime tv so as not to rot our brains! Talk about a lack of quality television. I sure do miss my TiVo!

She is also starting to read more. She just began re-reading Harry Potter 6 so that she will be ready when book 7 is released this July. She and I have always taken the kids to see each movie and we are looking forward to movie #5 this summer too! Don't know if she will make it to the theater with me or not but I will continue the tradition and take all 5 kids with me alone if need be!

Well, I don't have a great deal left to say today, I have some knitting that is calling so I think I will get back to that. I will however post some pictures of the beautiful flowers Sandi has been getting here recently. We may have to bring in more tables soon, the room smells more like a florist's shop than a hospital room and we are more than thankful for that! She is getting flowers from old friends and even from our High School. I can't imagine the High School sending a plant 16 years after I graduated...Crazy! She loves all of them though. They certainly help brighten up the room.

78 days

I was getting tired of counting the weeks so I thought for a change we could count the days.
March 1st seems like it was so long ago. Apparently it was, 78 days is a LONG time!

We can't seem to remember the date exactly but it was around 4 years ago this month that Sandi was first diagnosed. She went into the hospital on a Wednesday I think and they did the surgery on Thursday for what was thought to be appendicitis and it turned out to be this horrible cancer. All I remember was that it was a Monday night when mom called me to tell me what the diagnosis actually was. It never even occurred to us that she could be stricken with this
at the tender age of 29. Turns out May is just a bad month all around where Sandi and this illness are concerned. Both of her re-occurrences were diagnosed in May as well. Sandi and I used to joke that we were just going to tear the month of May out of our calendars and go on with our lives!

That said, Sandi has always had this great Pollyanna attitude about this. Those of you who know her personally know that she doesn't allow it to drag her down. For every bad thing that happens she seems to find the positive side to focus on. I have given her a lot of grief about this but it is one of the things that I admire most about her! The ability to focus on the positive aspects, whether it is the fact that because she was diagnosed in May so she had the summer to heal from her surgery so she wouldn't miss as much school or the fact that she was diagnosed early enough to give her a fighting chance is a quality of Sandi that many of us need to adopt I think!

Sandi didn't give up then and she is not giving up now. She seems to be breathing a little easier again and while there is not much new to report on she is still doing much better than expected and she is still keeping the doctors on their toes. Each day is certainly new with Sandi! Keep praying for her strength and health. Each prayer helps.

10 Days

That is all it has been, 10 days folks! I got to go home last week to do the Relay for Life with some friends in Cabot and see my own children for a few days and reacquaint myself with my own house and I get nothing but grief about the blog not being updated, gees.... Just kidding, I know you guys want updates and info so I will try to do better.

Sandi is continuing to do well. She hasn't made it out of bed to go outside again mostly due to the fact that it rained for a while and then she has been more out of breath here lately making it more difficult to get out of bed. When you have been laying there for 1o weeks plus a few days it takes quite a toll on the strength in your extremities! When she is feeling up to it she does a bit of Physical Therapy to try to maintain some muscle strength but she can't exactly jump up and dance a jig!

Sandi got to spend a great Mother's day with her family. I had borrowed Logan and Lauren for the weekend to visit their cousins in Arkansas and attend the Relay and help with a Girl Scout project but they wanted to be home to see mom for mother's day. Sandi got lots of beautiful flowers and her room smells like a florist shop more than a hospital room.

Amazingly she is even getting flowers from our old high school and friends we haven't heard from in years and years. Sandi is managing to pull people back together even from her hospital bed! She keeps telling us that God isn't done with her yet and as each day passes I realize how true that is. His work through her life is truly an inspiration to all of us.

She has loved the visits from old friends and students. It helps to keep up the hope and the drive to keep fighting. Feel free to stop by and visit, she is in the Walnut Lawn transitional facility in room 304. The west entrance is the easiest to find her room from. Please just keep in mind that she tires easily and talking can be difficult and do not outstay your welcome!

More tomorrow I hope!

Short Trip Outdoors

Since it was a beautiful day and Sandi was feeling better than she has in days we took the opportunity to try to get her into a wheelchair and take her outside. Aside from the trip from the hospital to Walnut Lawn and the trip back and forth again for the thoracentesis two weeks ago it is the only time she has been outside since she was admitted to the hospital on March 1st. It is now May 6th and she got to sit outside in the sun for half an hour and she really enjoyed the visit. I know she has got to be terribly tired of sitting in a bed all day long every day. Every time I think of how tired I am of seeing these walls I think Sandi has got to be even more tired, at least the rest of us get to leave once in a while!

There is a courtyard outside the window of Sandi's room and there is one on the back of the facility that has a fountain that the kids love to play in.There is a great garden area around the fountain. It would be nice if someone planted some flowers though!

Sandi wanted me to pass along the fact that she is up for visitors. While this is the call that many of her students have been waiting for, we would like to ask that you try to keep your visits brief and try not to come in large groups. She still tires easily and needs her rest if she is going to get stronger. If you would like to visit between the hours of 5-7pm that is the time that she is the most wide awake and she would love the company!

She is feeling pretty much the same and other than a few days here and there that she had reactions to some medications we are still hopeful that she will continue to improve. Each day she amazes the Doctors and nurses but those of us that know her always expect the unexpected from Sandi! Keep the prayers and thoughts coming, it brightens her days to get notes and cards from her students and friends!

Still here

Hi everyone. We just wanted to send a quick update. Sandi is doing a bit better the past few days. She had a couple of mornings that scared us last week. The breathing issue has gotten better but she had a few days where she was unresponsive and difficult to rouse. She has been better the past few days and we are very thankful for that.

A few days ago the Bell choir from her church came and set up in her room to play for Sandi. They played beautifully and she really enjoyed the music. As both of us play it was kind of difficult to sit by and listen without participating but we really appreciate all of the trouble they went to so Sandi could hear them play. They are very talented and the staff and other patients enjoyed the concert too. We were very happy to have such a big room as they filled it up quickly with all of the equipment. Pardon the pictures, they are from my phone because I didn't think ahead and bring my good camera.


I think we have finally gotten settled in here, the staff has finally mostly gotten used to us doing most of Sandi's care. I think that was probably the hardest thing for us to get used to. We are so used to helping her with most of the day to day care and they wanted to do that! We are still getting visits from the nurses and aides from the other hospital too and we love to see them!

I will try to keep this updated more frequently, I know that I haven't been doing so well lately! I will try to do better!

Kristi

New Digs...

Sandi has been over at Walnut Lawn in their transitional facility for a week now and things are starting to go a bit smoother. At first it was a really big challenge due to the fact that we were so used to the staff and procedures on the other floor and we had a lot more freedom to do things for Sandi without having to always ask for permission or help. There we had a kitchen at our disposal with a microwave and ice and water and refrigerators stocked with things Sandi could eat without having to go through the hospital cafeteria. Here we have to ask for ice and only have access to the cafe when it is open which is kind of limited. We were able to bring in a refrigerator so we can keep drinks and yogurt and things for her which has made this a bit easier but it is still a bit restrictive for our likes! We are getting to know the staff here a lot better and they are very accommodating and friendly. They are just not used to patients in Sandi's condition and we all had some acclimating to do.

Sandi is doing well. She is recovering from an infection which has meant a lot more medication to treat but those should be done soon which will be nice so she doesnt' have so many iv changes and alarms going off when they are done! She began having more trouble breathing once we got over here but she had a procedure on Thursday called a thoracentisis which removed a great deal of fluid from the space around her left lung which was keeping it from being able to fully inflate and was making her very uncomfortable and unable to breathe well. We hope that this will last for a while because the process of getting over to the hospital again for the procedure was quite a challenge and is not something we wish to do frequently. She is resting more comfortably now and is still doing pretty well.





We do have a MUCH larger room here. I am going to post some pictures of the room and all of the posters and cards and flowers that have been put back up. She feels right at home with all of this and those of us that stay with her each night appreciate that she has an extra bed so we no longer have to sleep on a cot or the couch!

Keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She hopes that all of her students did their best on their MAP testing last week and that you will try your hardest on the rest of it! She really wishes that she could be there with you and wants to hear that you all did the best you have ever done! What a great way to honor your teacher than to do your best!

Hi all, This is Sandi's Mom, she wanted me to give you all a brief update. She has been moved to Walnut Lawn Skilled Nursing or Transitional Care facility. She is in room 304. The room is very nice and tho the move tried her terribly she thinks she should be very comfortable here. Visits from close family and friends are welcome and appreciated , but she tires quickly so we are asking that your visits be short and kept to the afternoons or early evenings. We thank everyone for all of your thoughts, prayers and good wishes.

Update from Sandi

Hey everyone, it's me updating this time! Kristi hasn't been around for a while, so she doesn't really know what's going on. She'll have to read this along with the rest of you.

Not a whole lot has changed , but there are a few things to update you on. Today I finished the last of my six radiation treatments. I guess that's something. The radiation was not designed to shrink the internal tumors that are crowding my abdomen. I don't know if that had been made clear in earlier posts. We did very shallow electron radiation to shrink the tumors that are causing some open lesions on my skin in two places. I suppose it could possibly have some benefit on those beneath the skin, but we really radiated a very small area. I heard someone say they thought the radiation was to heal the tumors in my abdomen, and someone else mistakenly thought I was having chemotherapy treatments, and neither of those is the case.

The radiation was not unpleasant or painful in any way. Each day a transporter (his name was Joe, and he was incredibly nice and very accomodating. We had some interesting conversations!) would come to my room and wait patiently while we disconnected various tubes and things, then would move me to a very hard gurney, try to make me comfortable, then take me down to the first floor of the building across the skywalk where the radiation was conducted. The procedure itself took only a moment; I counted the seconds each day out of curiousity and none of the beams lasted longer than 60 seconds. Then we would return to my room get me back in my bed and get all my tubes and whatnot reconnected, and that was the end of it. It seemed like an awfully big effort involving a whole bunch of people for such a short treatment. I guess that's the job those techs and nurses are paid to do, though, so I probably shouldn't feel bad.

We have seen some improvement in some of the sores, and the radiation oncologist said that we will continue to see improvement for the next ten days or so. There are not supposed to be any side effects, either.

Don't know if it was mentioned in the last posting or not, but another milestone in my healing is that as of last Thursday, my naso-gastric tube has been removed and I no longer resemble an elephant. The tube was inserted upon my arrival to empty the contents of my stomach, and it continued to draw intermittently for the next several weeks. This was because my system was not moving anything through, but now that it seems to be healing, we don't need it anymore.

It had rubbed a very sore spot in the back of my throat, which made eating, drinking and even talking very painful. Removing it has allowed the sore to heal, which allows me to eat a little bit now. I still have to be careful. We don't know yet what my system can handle. We're taking it very slow. I'm thrilled to have it out. The tape that kept it in place was driving me nuts, and the whole thing was just a nuisance. It's so much better now!

Now that the tube is gone, radiation is finished, and I am so stable, there may be talk again of moving me to the Walnut Lawn facility, but we haven't heard anything yet. My doctor plans on leaving me here until the insurance company begins to complain. We will keep you posted on that.

Don't really know what else is going on with me. My days are pretty much the same each day. My mornings are busy with doctor visits, vital signs, breakfast, bandage-changing, physical and occupational therapy, and those kinds of things, then after lunch I almost always feel ready to rest. Most of my family has gone home, so it's a bit quieter than when my family and friends were camped up here making sure I was okay. I really look forward to their visits now that I have become used to having them here. I am blessed to have so many loving friends and family members.

I hope you can see in the picture I posted (sorry, not a great picture. I took it with my phone!) that my students at school have sent me a new poster celebrating Easter and reminding me that they still love me and miss me. Thanks, guys. Your notes and posters and cards are really a bright spot in my day. It has been so hard to be away, regardless of the fact that I am sick. I just miss doing the job I love. I hope you guys try your hardest on your MAP tests! Don't let your teachers down! Preparing students for that test is something I poured a huge amount of time and energy into every year. I'm sorry to have to miss it this year. I feel like I've let everybody down. Darn cancer! I know it's nothing I can control, so please, don't everybody comment and tell me that! I just felt the need to express that thought.

I know this whole thing is in God's control. I'm continuing to believe that healing is happening, and all I have to do is keep believing, keep trusting God's perfect will, and do my part to eat and get stronger. It's hard to have such an uncertain future, but I try to use each day to do something important. Even though I'm stuck in bed, I try to let the Christ-light shine through. As long as I'm here, I want to continue to do the work the Lord has called me to do.

Well, I've probably rattled on long enough for tonight. I'll update again in a few days or whenever something interesting happens. Till then, keep the comments coming; they're fun to read and it's good to know that someone is reading this stuff! All your prayers are appreciated too. Lots of love and blessings to all of my friends, family, and students. Love, Sandi

Change in Plans

Well, I may have been premature in telling all of you that Sandi was moving to Walnut Lawn. Sandi's doctors have decided that perhaps some targeted radiation would help her reduce a few of her tumors and that would be too hard to do from farther away so she is staying here! YEAH! We were dreading having to move everything and leave the staff here! She is comfortable here and it doesn't matter to her where she is so this works for now!

I know that I asked for Posters but I think that what we need now is a card shower! I know that a lot of you would like to come up and visit but in many cases that is not possible and would be overwhelming but thoughts and cards are a great way to let her know we are still thinking of her even though she has been here for over a month now. The hospital address is Cox South Medical Center 3801 S. National, Springfield MO 65807

I will try to keep up on the blog but I am heading home today and will keep up on Sandi's condition for all of you, unfortunately my family wants to see me for a few days so I am off to spend Easter at home!

Request for Sandi's Students

I know that this is going to come across as crazy to all of you but Sandi has gotten so much enjoyment out of the decorations and posters that her students made that I have a special request for them. Sandi is going to be moving to Walnut Lawn extended care facility early next week and we would love to have some new decorations for her room. She is getting people from other floors that want to see it and every time they bring up new student nurses they all stop by to see how cheery it is. If you have the time to make a few posters again she will be happy to have something new to look at!

Tuesday Again

We are well into week 4 here, Sandi will have been here for four weeks this Thursday and unless she gets some strength and can begin to eat solid foods a bit better she is going to be here for a while longer! I think she has watched more daytime TV in the past three and a half weeks than in her entire adult life combined but there is not much else to do and she gets so drowsy she can't concentrate to read either! I know, for all of us who know her well it is difficult to digest the thought of Sandi having to choose television over a book but these are crazy times! I will make sure to update you if anything major changes anytime soon, so far it has been pretty quiet and it is hard to argue with that. She is still strong, at least in the emotional sense of the word, now if only her body would follow suit! Keep her in your prayers, every last one helps!

Energizer Sandi...Week Three and still going strong

Alright, this is the second time I have written this post. I can agree with Sandi that it is completely annoying when you have to do it again, esp when you liked it the first time around! Hate it when your computer decides that it needs to be written again!

Sandi is still doing well. Not much has changed in the last few days. She has officially been here for three weeks now and I know that she would like nothing more than to get better enough to return home. In true Sandi/Polyanna fashion though she is looking at the bright side of things. She is much more lucid than she was when she got here and she has a nice big room which is bright and sunshiny when the weather permits and there is plenty of room for all of the family and friends that are keeping her spirits up. Some of the rooms here on the ward are not private and those of us that are staying with her at night are thankful for the couch and comfy recliners that allow us to rest here with her. She is also glad to have such great staff taking care of her, they will do anything for her and even stop in to say hi even when they are not her nurse or PCA that day. Sandi seems to have that effect on everyone she meets doesn't she!?!

The kids at her church brought in a new poster to help decorate her room.

She was surprised with this one and it has made her miss her kids at church too. Pastors Rod and Regina have been up frequently to visit and offer comfort and support to the entire family and we are making sure that she can read the sermons she is missing.

Lauren also got into the room decorating thing and brought in a picture that she created in school.

It is beautiful (even to those of us who really don't like clowns very much!) and her Aunt Jo is going to make sure that it gets properly matted and framed so that it can hang on her wall in her room. The colors go so well with the changes that Sandi made in her room after christmas!

I will do my best to keep you updated, keep the comments coming, Sandi gets a lot of joy out of seeing who is keeping up with her and wishes she could express her thanks to each one of you individually.

Slacking Off

It has been brought to my attention that I have been lax in my duties as the assistant keeper of the blog lately and that I should have been updating more frequently. The days tend to blend together and if I had not put the day of the week into the title of the last post I would have sworn it was much more recent than that!

Not much has changed and I am almost certain that most of you do not need or want to know the day to day goings on up here at Cox South. Sandra is feeling better still and is actually kind of bored and at loose ends now that she is feeling more stable. We are not sure if going home is in the near future and we are looking at her options if the insurance company decides that she does not need to be in a hospital situation anymore but we are very happy with the care and concern of the staff here. Many of the nurses and aides and support staff have come to see what the rest of us have always seen in Sandi and they are part of our day to day routine these days. We have been blessed to have great nurses that only want the best for her. She has a great group of people here that are seeing to her every need and are keeping her comfortable.

Most of the huge influx of family has slowed down and now that we know we are in for a longer duration we are trying to pace ourselves. I know that Sandi misses attending church and other functions where she was able to connect with her friends and students. Know that you are all on her mind frequently and that she is trying her best to improve. Keep the prayers and cards coming, they make for bright spots in her long monotonous days here in the hospital!

Tuesday Morning

It is a beautiful Tuesday morning and our primary wish is for Sandi to continue to do better. We really wish that she was able to get out and have some fresh air. She has been here for almost two weeks and her attitude continues to astonish us. She is able to get into a chair at the side of her bed for a while each day for a change of scenery but I think she would like to be able to get outside. She continues to improve against the doctors expectations but knowing her we don't really expect any different. She is not willing to accept what the doctors have told her is inevitable and is fighting against the odds, don't count her out yet!

She loves all of the comments on her blog and reads each and every one of them. We will do our best to keep you all updated as well as we can!

Posters, posters and more posters

Sandra was surprised by the many, and I do mean MANY posters and cards that were sent by her students from school. After she read them we posted them on the walls so that she could be surrounded by the love and prayers you are all sending her way. She is feeling much better and really appreciates all of the cards and things being sent to her. If she is feeling up to it tomorrow you may see a post from her, she is waiting get back on the computer!

Surgery

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update again. Sandra had surgery this afternoon in an attempt to make her more comfortable by removing the NG tube. Unfortunately the doctor was not able to do what he wanted but he was able to reduce some of the pressure in her abdomen which has made her more comfortable.

She is still not up to receiving visitors but the cards have been a joy to her. We will continue to share your comments with her.

Update

This post is being written by Sandi's sister Kristi.

The love and support of all of Sandi's friend's has been so much comfort to Sandi and her family. Sandi is currently in the hospital at Cox South.

As much as we know that there are many of you that would like to visit, she is not up to receiving visitor's at this time. Feel free to post your thoughts and good wishes here to the blog and we will make sure they are passed along to her.

Keep the prayers coming, every one helps.

Finally Home!

WE'RE HOME! And let me tell you,getting here was no small undertaking. It's taken a few days of recovery here, so I'm just now finally updating. I have never in my life experienced such a frustrating two days of travel. I can tell you this for sure too--good rates or not, we will NEVER fly American Airlines again. Now, in retrospect, I should have known things were going to get hairy when we had trouble at the Mexican border on Saturday. We laughed it off and jokingly said we hoped our whole trip home wasn't that difficult. Ha! It turned out not to be a joke!

We left Tijuana on Saturday evening after shopping at Rosarita Beach, the open-air market I told you about last time we went. I thought that Kristi and my mom needed to experience it, so we built our entire day around it. They loved it, and blew a bunch of money (apparently all women respond well to retail therapy!) in the booths. It took us forever to get a van from the hospital to San Diego. They overbooked the 5 p.m. departure that I had reserved, so we had to wait for another diver, which took until about 6:15. Then, when we arrived at the border station, we waited another hour for our turn to be inspected. Last time we left Tijuana they opened the van door, looked around, asked us a few questions, and sent us on our way. This time, no such luck. Apparently the border patrol officer at our station was in a bad mood, because he informed us that we, and all of our belongings, needed to go inside and cross the border on foot. So we lugged all of our carefully packed and very heavy suitcases through the turnstyle and up to the counter where they looked at us, asked a few questions, and let us pass. Next we had to put all our suitcases throught the x-ray machine. It was loud, and chaotic, and people were pushing and trying to hurry through the machines ahead of us. Then, as suddenly as the whole thing began, we were back outside and it was all over. It really went pretty fast, until we tried finding our driver. We expected him at the circle drive right in fron of us, but he was no where to be seen. Finally, he walked up behind us, took some of the luggage, and led us across two train tracks then down a long sidewalk to a distant parking lot where he re-loaded the van. Talk about inconvenient! We couldn't believe he had to park and come get us on foot. Then he had to pay his way out of the lot. No wonder our wait was so long. I guess they walked everyone across the border that night. We were extremely relieved that night to arrive at our clean, modern, quiet, hotel for the evening. It took three hours to go 30 miles.

San Diego was beautiful. We have found that airline tickets are more expensive if you return within a week of your departure, so on both trips we have had a day in the city to enjoy. This time we took a trolley tour and saw a great deal of what San Diego has to offer. We want to spend more time there when I'm well, and now we know more about what we want to see. The real adventure of our homecoming, however, began Monday when we tried to fly home.

We made it to the airport in plenty of time with all of our things. We were scheduled to fly close to the same time; Mom and Kristi at 12:15 or so to KC, and we planned to depart just before them to Dallas at 11:50. It's a small airport, and there is nothing (NOTHING!) to do there, but we took the advice of the hotel clerk and arrived with two hours to spare for security and anything else that might come up. So we arrived at the airport about 9:45, got through security in record time, and then found out that our flight had been delayed until 12:45 due to bad weather in Dallas. We were fed already, but found a Starbucks booth (one of only 2 food vendors there!) and had a coffee, and then sat and waitied. And waited. It was really crowded. People were just everywhere, and most of them were complaining about the delay. Kristi and Mike had had just about enough of each other , and no one had much left to say to each other. I felt pretty good, I guess that's a plus. But the wait seemed really long. Finally Kristi and Mom left to go catch their plane, which later went off without a hitch. We were not so lucky.

You don't want a minute by minute explanation of this I know, so I will shorten it some. Our plane never came. As our departure time neared and we had no plane at our gate we were informed that our plane was close and circling, waiting for a turn to land. Then they told us that our plane was nearly out of fuel so it was flying to Palm Springs to refuel. Then they said it was going to stay in Palm Springs to allow some people to deplane (why?). It would be here soon. Then they told us it wasn't coming at all. They were instead going to send us another plane, but it wouldn't be here until 7 p.m. That was when we got fed up. We had been patient all day. But now 200 people were trying to reschedule flights and get hotel rooms. I got smart and called the 800 number on my ticket instead of standing in line at the ticket desk, and that was a good thing. Then we went to the front ticket desk to see about getting them to pay for a room for the night. They's be happy to--only the computer to make the reservations was down at the moment. We would need to wait and see if it came back up. We found our own hotel. Before leaving the airport, we needed to go retrieve our checked baggage. Here's where the real clincher came. When they found our luggage, Mike's bag had been severely damaged--the whole end where the extendable handle is was badly bent as though something had run over it. This was a huge, costly Samsonite bag we just bought, and the supports were metal. There was nothing we could do to reshape it. And best of all, it never even left the airport! We couldn't believe it. It was a real slap in the face at the end of a grueling day.

We went back to our now very-familiar Hampton Inn in downtown San Diego (after another hour's wait, due to miscommunication regarding the van they were driving. We hadn't been looking for a Residence Inn van.). We went out for a very nice Italian dinner, then we went to bed. We were ready to go at it tomorrow and finally just get home. There was one more surprise in store for us in the morning.

Tuesday when we got up we were focused on getting home. We were ready in a hurry and the shuttle got us to the airport. It was when we tried to check our bags at the curb that we first discovered a problem. Though we had our boarding passes already, our airline had somehow flagged us for an additional security check. So we had to lug all our things up a level to the ticket desk, wait in line again, then go to security where they did the preliminary check like everyone else, but then we had to identify everything that was ours (we had mixed it up on the way in the bins) without touching our things, then we were taken to a separate area where all of our items were hand searched, followed by a physical search of our bodies. All this time I wanted to scream at someone. WHAT IS GOING ON!?! No one in security had any information for us. All they said was that sometimes when you have a change in your ticket date they do this. But it wasn't even our fault! I was on the verge of breakdown. I was exhausted and teary and couldn't speak. I've never been so angry and humiliated in my life. Obviously, they found nothing of concern and sent us on our way.

We made it to our gate in time to board. Our flight went quickly as did our connection in Dallas. We were overjoyed when we pulled into the airport nearly 24 hours later than expected. By this time I was completely worn out. Given my condition and the reasons for our travel in the first place, I never should had been subjected to this sort of treatment. Not one person, anywhere along the line, made any kind of offer for people who might need assistance or who might have some other special need. We were deeply disappointed in our airline. They will hear about it from me and I plan to get some kind of satisfaction in all this!

So you can see why updating my blog has taken a few days. I have spent a lot of time on the couch the last two days resting. Overall, I feel good. I think I feel stronger than I did a few weeks ago. Let's hope and pray that continues. It's Friday now, and there's not going to be much to write about coming up. I do have my third trip to Mexico scheduled for March 20, and Mike will stay home this time. I think that will be easier on the kids. After that I shouldn't need to go for three months. Now I just have to keep on keeping on! Hope everyone feels free to call, visit, or email over the coming weeks! I'm pretty sure I don't have a lot planned! Lots of love to you all! Sandi

A Beautiful Day in Sunny Mexico

We have just spent another beautiful day here in Tijuana, where the weather is, from what I'm told, a little nicer than what many of you are experiencing. It was sunny and breezy and about 75 today. It was an uneventful day mostly, but I wanted to at least post a note so no one would worry.

Over the last few days I have had a series of treatments, including my hi-doses of vitamin C, the infamous B-17 (that's the stuff that can't be used in the USA), and this stuff called Perftec, which does something in conjunction with oxygen, so I have spent a lot of time hooked up to an oxygen tank as well. Yesterday my treatments started late morning and seemed to take the entire day. I finally was able to get up and around near 8:30 p.m. I was about to go stir crazy!I'm finished with all my treatments for the week now, so now it's back to the at-home supplements and pills and shots. Today I went to the pharmacy and spent another $1000 on those new meds, but now I'm all squared away. It sure seems like this treatment option is not a cheap route to go. I am so thankful though, to be blessed to already have the money I need, thanks to continued donations and gifts from friends and family.

Since today's treatments took less time, we has quite a bit of time to explore a bit more of Tijuana. Nothing exotic; just a nearby church, grocery store, and later a lighthouse. The grocery store was entertaining. Many of the items were difficult to identify, and some things that are common in the US are sold at Mexican stores but with very different packaging and flavors. Cough drops come in grape and pineapple flavors, and Tang comes in 16oz packages in a wide array of flavors including lime, coconut, pineapple, and something white that was unidentifiable. Yogurt is sold in apple flavor. Laundry detergent comes packaged in bags, and one kind advertised lime-scented detergent. In the deli/bakery section, pastries and breads were piled high on racks in the open air, with no covering of any kind. Kelloggs makes a lot of cereal kinds you've never before seen or heard of! It was very interesting.

A short walk in the other direction reminded us how close we really are to the American border. When a person walks out the doors of the hospital here, the predominant sight is that of the front gate of a bull-fighting arena. It's a hugh red and white arched gate, behind which is this enormous empty parking lot. At the back of that is the arena itself. You can't see much of it. Anyhow, on the left side of this gate, about 2 blocks down, is the beach. On the right side of the gate, there are some offices and eventually a restaurant. Just beyond that is the fence separating Tijuana from the US. You can walk right up to it. It's metal and about 20 feet high. Through it you can see an expansive empty area we refer to as "no-man's land," that place that is carefully guarded day and night by helicopters, lights, and video cameras. Oddly enough, on the USA side, there is a well kept park, with picnic tables and everything. On the Mexico side is a working lighthouse and a street that takes you down to the beach behind the bull-fighting arena. Tonight, at the park, they were all set up to do some TV interviews with the beach as a background. We could tell by the chairs and microphones, spotlights and video cameras. We never did figure out what was going on with that. All of our sightseeing today was certainly an education for all of us.

Tomorrow we are leaving the hospital for our return. We will be staying in San Diego for a few days and doing a little sightseeing if possible. I feel pretty good, right now, so hopefully that will continue. We will be back on Monday evening at 8:05 p.m. I think there will be a rude awakening given the weather I have heard about. It's pretty late right now and I'm tired, so I'm done for today. I'll let you know if anthing important comes up. I seem to be having trouble putting coherent thoughts together. For now, it's adios, amigos!

And Now, What You've All Been Waiting For...

We have news! And though it's not staggeringly good news, it isn't bad either. So, here it is:
Basically, little has changed since we began treatments. Which means the regimen I'm using has stopped the cancer from progressing. It just hasn't done too much to turn it around in the other direction. So, it's just like I said. Not the best news, but not bad. The doctors would have liked to see more progress, but the lack of forward progress is not disturbing.

Actually, what happened yesterday when I saw the doctor was this: He said, "So, how have you been feeling since you were here last time?" and I told him what I've told many of you who have asked, "I haven't felt much of a difference at all. I feel a little stronger, maybe, but not much change at all." and the doctor chuckled and said, "Well, that's pretty much what your CT scan shows. Compared to your last visit, we see very little change." Which isn't all bad, he went on to explain. Nothing is any larger or more pronounced. Nothing new has appeared either. What this means, however, is a change in my treatment plan is necessary.

Apparently this is not going to be a big change at this point. The doctor mentioned that (as I have probably brought up at some point before) there is a regimen that includes chemo, but we are not going to go that route yet. Instead we will add some other "oral elements" or basically a few more supplements to what we are already doing. These elements, the doctor said, are what they use with their "tougher" or "more resistant" cases, though he said he would not at this point classify me as a "tough case". Anyhow, we will put in these new medications and give it a few weeks to see how it goes. At that point we will again make a decision about raising things a level again. We still haven't used every approach we have, and we don't want to. We want to keep something on the back burner to pull out as a last resort. Let's just pray we never have to use it.

Considering my lack of progress, it's easy to see why I really couldn't tell a difference in the way I feel. I had expected the news to be something like this; again it's that intuition thing. I just knew we hadn't blown it away. I can't say I was terribly disappointed, given that I had expected this result. I'm just thrilled that things aren't moving in the wrong direction. That alone, is a blessing to me! Some of you undoubtedly wonder how Mike and my mom and sister feel about the lack of progress, and though I haven't heard them say much, I get the feeling they all had really hoped for more, but are happy with the fact that we have at leased stopped the cancer for now. I'll probably hear more about that today.

I feel pretty good since I have been here. Tuesday was a long day of treatments. I had just about everything they offer. Some things had to be given very slowly over several hours because of a reaction I had at one time before. That made it seem like a very long day. Today they are about ready to get started again. I have all my treatments again today too, starting in about 30 minutes. I guess that means I'd better go get dressed. This is not like a hospital at home where you check in and get in bed. We are all up and around and dressed each day until bedtime, and we come and go as we please. I can go to the beach or the store if I want, as long as I've had my treatments and no one is looking for me. It's all very realxed. Yesterday the doctors even came looking for me in the cafeteria during lunch. Then they waited for me to finish. Whole different world!

Well, I'll let you all know if there's anything worth telling you about today. Until then, goodbye, and Happy Valentines Day!

Return to Mexico

Hello from fairly warm and kinda sunny Mexico! We arrived at the hospital today for what turned out to mostly be a wasted day, but at least the weather was pretty nice. Looks like the rest of the week is supposed to be warm and sunny, so I look forward to getting out and around a bit each day. We will be here for a week this time, returning home on Monday.

Our flight yesterday was uneventful (though they had to hold the plane a few moments for us in Springfield, because we mis-read our tickets and hadn't gone through security when they called our names for final boarding!) and we arrived in San Diego by 6:30 local time. My sister and mom were already waiting for us in the hotel, and after settling in we walked over to a nearby seafood house for a wonderful (and yet, still on my diet as much as possible) dinner. This morning the van for Oasis picked us up at the hotel and brought us across the border to the hospital.

Now that I think about it, the theme for the day has been "wait", which Mike has had significantly more trouble doing than I have. Our van to the hotel was an hour late, for starters. We weren't really on any schedule, so it wasn't a big deal. Apparently there was also a pickup at the airport, and the plane was late. After we were in the van it seemed like no time until we arrived at the hospital. Once we arrived, however,we had to wait for our rooms to be ready. Our patient representative was there to greet us, but she had another patient, a brand new one, to get settled, so we waited for someone else to help us. This time. our rooms are down in the basement, or first floor, as it's called here. When we arrived at our rooms (we have 2, since we have extra people), the first one was occupied! We actually unlocked to door to find people who were supposed to be gone yesterday. So, we locked that door back up and the hospital rep took us to the other room reserved for us while they figured out what was going on. We looked around the new room, and it was not much different from what we had last time. A little better, maybe, but no place for four people to sit and visit. A quick decision was made to put us in the room at the end of the hall--one they don't use for patients because it's saved for the owner's family. It was nice--it had a recliner, a couch, and lots of room. So we settled in there and waited to see if they could remove the people who weren't supposed to be in our room.

Hospital people came in and out for various reasons, we filled out some paperwork, then they asked me not to eat so I could have a blood test. A lab tech came and drew blood, then a nurse took vital signs, and then we waited some more. A doctor came to visit, and a CT scan was ordered. It would be in the next few hours. Apparently I was not going to be able to eat lunch because of it. As we got settled, we discovered that the TV had no remote. A phone call was made to a representative, and we waited for that (not such a big deal to me, but it was to some people). I wasn't scheduled for any treatments, so we just waited for lunch. Mom and Kristi thought all the fresh food was great. We will see how long that lasts. I didn't get to eat, so I just watched. Then we went back down to our room to wait for the CT. We waited, and waited, and called to see what was going on, only to find out that the CT machine broke, and all the waiting was for nothing! At least I could go have dinner. So we waited for that.

During our wait for dinner, they resolved the room issue, and we had to move out of the room we were now settled into. That wasn't a big deal, except we had just THAT MINUTE gotten a remote for the TV (which , by that point, was pretty funny). So, now we are settled into two rooms. No couch, but a few comfortable chairs. We can all hang out in the bigger room, and Mom and Kristi will just retire to the smaller room for bed. While waiting for dinner, I started working on today's blog.

Finally it was time to eat! On our way to dinner I locked the door behind me, then immediately realized that I needed my supplements to take with my meal. I turned around to open the lock, and--wasn't this our day?--the key didn't work. We were locked out of our room. So, we had to wait for the nurse to come back to the desk, then wait for the patient representative to rescue us with a key that worked.

Finally we had dinner. It was NOT worth waiting for. Sometimes the food here is wonderful, but sometimes it is really strange. Tonight, nothing was identifiable. I was so hungry! I was very disappointed.

Now, as I write, settled in my room with the knowledge that I will have my CT first thing tomorrow (I'm first!), it seems like we have had a rather wasted day. Well, at least we got all that out of the way. Tomorrow should be much better. I have treatments all day after my CT, which should satisfy my mom's curiosity. She's been wondering what my treatments are like. Also, within a day or two, we should know if the tumors are regressing like they should. When I spoke to the doctor today, she asked me how it was going. I commented that it seemed to be going wery slow. She nodded her head and said, "Yes, it will seem very slow. That's because it's naturopathic. It works very slowly." I thought that was reassuring. Pray like crazy these next few days that things are going in the right direction!

As I read over this I realize I sound rather grumpy about this whole thing. Really, I'm not. It's just been a crazy day. I'm glad I knew my way around the place and who to call for what, or we would have run screaming from the hospital. What I haven't mentioned, is that I really feel pretty good. Compared to how I felt when we were here a few weeks ago, I think I feel stronger. Maybe it's my imagination, but yesterday's flights and treks through the airports seemed easier, and I was even able to walk to and from dinner fairly comfortably, even after a long day of travel. I am encouraged by this. It's so hard to see a change when I'm just sitting around at home. Speaking of that, even, I have been able to do more at home. It might just be that my pain control is better. Or maybe healing really is taking place. Keep praying! I need all the prayers I can get!

I'm going to wrap it up for today. I can't imagine that there's anything else to tell you all about. It's nice to hear the comments from those of you who post them, so keep those coming. I'll try to keep the blog updated all week. Talk to you all soon! Love, Sandi

Another Long-Awaited Update

This is the second time today I have written this blog. How aggravating! I wrote it out once this morning and was about one paragraph from finishing when the computer locked up without warning, and I lost the whole thing! There was nothing I could do. It felt like writing a paper for school and forgetting to save it. Ah, well, maybe this second version will be better!

It's been a while. I apologize for that. I have been chastised again by a variety of people, so I thought I'd better get with it. I know that some of you received an update at school through a letter Rick forwarded from Sheryl, and while I appreciate that Sheryl was giving you all an update, I thought it sounded a bit glum and that it might worry some of you into thinking that I wasn't really felling like myself. The part where she said I hadn't updated because I "didn't know what to write" might have been the most concerning of all to those of you who know me well. Most of you know I love to write, and could never truly be at a loss of what to write about. For the most part, the possibilities are endless. A more accurate statement would be that I don't really have anything interesting to say in the blog. I've used this communication source for updates on my condition, and since nothing is really going on except the extremely slow process of healing, there 's not much to update on. Overall, I feel pretty much the same as the last time I wrote.

Many of us had hoped for a much faster result, I know. People all the time tell me that they expected me to come back from Mexico feeling better and that I would improve noticeably while I was at home. Unfortunately, we are not in control of the timeline here, so we have to be patient and continue to believe in the treatment method we have chosen, with the faith that it will work, given time. I think it's a lot like watching grass grow. It's pretty uninteresting to watch and nothing seems to happen at all, but one day you wake up and it's gotten so long you have to cut it or lose sight of the house from the street. I think healing is happening where we can't see it yet.

We will have the chance to see how I'm doing soon though. I'm going to Mexico again on Sunday, and there should be a CT scan on Monday with results probably the next day. If the doctor doesn't see significant progress internally, he will begin a more aggressive treatment that very day. They have more options than what I'm currently doing; backup, so to say. They are even seeing me a little early; 5 weeks instead of the usual 6. This doctor is aware of my stage of illness, he knows it's pretty late in the game. But at that clinic, there have been many people healed who are worse off than me. This doctor wants to get a jump on things in case it's not working like he would like to see. I'm not too concerned, though. I see little improvements, which I will tell you about in just a moment.

As far as our trip goes, we will arrive at the hospital on Monday, February 12, and we will return home on Monday, February 19. We will be at the hospital until Saturday. During the week, I will see the doctor each day, have some tests, and take the IV treatments like last time I was there. Then I will come home and resume my home protocol. This time, in addition to Mike, my sister and mom plan to come to the hospital as companions. They plan to see what it's like to be a rabbit for a while. I'm excited to have them see this place; it's pretty special.

People I see continue to ask how I feel, and usually I tell them that I feel about the same. I guess I down-play the improvement when people ask because on a day to day basis, I feel so little change.That's probably a little misleading. In small ways, I do think I feel a little better. I'm able to eat more without so much discomfort, and I'm up and around more than I was right after coming home. I think we finally have my pain issues worked out. I have been on pain killers for so long they seemed to not be working very well, but then I found out I was on a pretty low dose. They increased it substantially and that seems to have helped. I don't feel drugged, but I feel almost normal where I usually have so much discomfort. On a daily basis, I don't really think about how I feel, so it's often hard to anwer that question when people ask. So if I see you or talk to you and you ask how I feel, I might be pretty vague. Please don't be offended or think I'm blowing off your question, because I don't mean to offend. I'm just keeping my eye one the prize at the end, and I think that how I feel today isn't really all that important. One of these days my answer is going to be "great!" and I will mean it!

One thing I forgot to mention to you all in my blog is a procedure I had done on my kidneys. I may have mentioned in an earlier post that the doctor in Mexico saw a blockage of one kidney and recommended that I have that fixed. I saw a urologist when we got back and last week I spent about three hours at the hospital having stents put in both ureters; one to remove the pressure causing the blockage and the other to prevent the other kidney from having the same problem. It was a painless outpatient procedure and it had no lasting effects on how I feel. I was in and out pretty quick, and there was no incision involved. I'll have to have the stents changed eventually. Then it's even easier and they do the procedure in the doctors office most of the time. So I guess we can say that's one problem resolved.

Well, I guess I've probably covered everything in terms of an update. I may not write again until we are in Mexico, and then I will probably write every day or two. If any of you have any questions in between times I write, please don't be afraid to call me (I prefer my cell phone) or email me. I get the feeling some of you stay away because you don't want to "bother" me, or because you don't know what to say. You guys are my friends, and I'd love to hear from you. You can talk to me about anything you'd normally talk to me about. I may have a serious illness, but I don't spend all my time thinking about it. I miss my friends. I love to hear from you and hear what's going on in your lives, and at school. I even like it when my friends tell me about their problems. None of this "but you have enough to worry about ..." nonsense. Actually, I'd love to talk about somebody else for a change. I'm tired of talking about me!

That does it for now. Hope everyone has a good day, and that I get this posted without losing it again. I don't really feel like doing this a third time. Love and blessings! Sandi

Home Again...and I am finally updating!

Wow-it has been a long time since I updated my blog. I had no intention of leaving you hanging, and I apologize to any of you who wondered if our plane just never came down! We are home, and I am focusing hard on taking all of my supplements each day and following my diet to the letter. That's why it didn't really occur to me to update.

As of my last update last Saturday, we had an uneventful few days finishing up treatment, then we flew to San Diego on Monday, where we saw a little of the city and stayed overnight. Then on Tuesday we flew home to some children and family members who were almost as happy to see us as we were to see them! We got home to an ice-covered wonderland--or nightmare, depending on how you look at it. I thought it was beautiful, but it certainly was cold. When the plane arrived at the Springfield airport, we were stuck on the plane for a long time because they couldn't get the jetway to motor over to the door of the plane. It was frozen solid! They had to use a tug and move the airplane instead to a jetway that worked.

Since arriving home I haven't felt terribly well. I don't know if it was just the adjustment after the rigors of traveling, or what, but I don't have a great deal of strength and I seem to suffer from a great deal of pain that my pain killers sometimes don't even touch. Part of the problem seems to be indigestion-related bloating. Everything I eat seems to cause discomfort, and I eat very, very little. However, with faith, I continue to force myself knowing that I must follow doctors orders and that this, too, shall pass. One of these days I'm going to feel better.

My main focus since coming home has been following my treatments to the letter. There have been some bumps in the road, so this has been a bit of a challenge. First of all, each morning I have to divvy up my 20 or so supplements into the appropriate comparments in my daily vitamin dispenser. Most people use the dispenser for a week. I fill it and empty it daily. When I got home and started to sort my pills, I discovered that two of the things I was perscribed are missing. I called, and was told that I was supposed to get those at the hospital pharmacy. Nobody mentioned that at the time. I was able to locate and purchase one of the products online, thank God, so today that problem was solved. I called about the other, and there is some confusion about whether I should even be taking it, so I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor. Hopefully I can locate it somewhere.

In additon to the supplements, my treatment includes continuing the strict diet I was on in Mexico. This hasn't been too bad with the help I've had so far from my mother-in-law, who has worked so unbelieveably hard to help me. She provides me with a veggie tray and fruit tray that I can make meals from easily all day, and then she is providing meals every couple of days as well. We are trying to eat dinners made for me that the whole family can eat. That has been an adjustment. They have become very accustomed to eating what they want when they want, and they don't like having to wait. They'll adjust. My mom also spent a day baking up a storm some goodies I can eat that are good for me too. I am so blessed to have this help!

The third element of my treatment really threw us for a loop. There is an injection I am supposed to take three times a week, that I cannot give myself, and it is not approved for use in the US, so a doctor/nurse cannot give it to me. Mike and I took training in the hospital on giving the injection. Mike will be no help whatsoever. Carol is out of the running, too. The other problem I have, besides who to give me the injection, is that I didn't get my syringes from the hospital pharmacy, either. Another communication problem, I guess. We really had trouble with the idea of the injection. We simply had no idea that it would be required, and the training just made us realize that we are going to need help with this. The size of the needle prescribed for our use is 18 gauge, and for those of you who don't know nursing, think Garden Hose. You can see the opening in the end of the needle from across the room. No. Way.

Well, obviously, not taking the shot is not an option. It is necessary for my treatment. So, my local physicain has taken care of the syringes and needles (size 23, at my mom's suggestion. MUCH better. Smaller, shorter, almost can't see the hole in the end). We tried to find a way I could use the port I always use for chemo, but all attempts at that end also didn't work. Now, with these smaller needles, I have resigned myself to receiving the injection three days a week. I have already had 2 injections, and they really didn't hurt at all. I was amazed. The only problem I have now is that the person who gave me the injections cannot really continue to do so, so I am keeping my eyes open for someone with nursing experience who is willing to come to my home to give this injection to me. I have a prescription for it, but as I mentioned before, it is not authorized for use in the US. What that means is, technically, someone who is a licensed nurse is not really allowed to give it to me. I'm hoping I can find someone willing to overlook that fact and come to my home to do it, no questions asked. Any takers?

I have rested a great deal this week. I'm really not feeling great, but it seems at times that I glimpse a light at the end of the tunnel and I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, so to speak. It will get easier, my ability to eat will improve, and gradually I WILL get better. I'm told that there is to be a fundraiser this Saturday in my honor. It's being held at the Lamplighter Inn at Glenstone and Sunshine from 2pm until 5. A former student I have had the pleasure of working with has gone to an enormous amount of trouble to get donations for a raffle and silent auction and I don't really know what else. McAlisters will be providing drinks for up to 200 people, he said. He has put it in the paper, on the radio, and has made flyers. He called today to tell me, and I'm going to try to show up for a little while. I am so incredibly blessed with the efforts of this young man who is pursuing a teaching degree--thanks to me, he said. You are an amazing person, Austin, and I can't thank you enough. It is efforts like these that give me the energy to keep fighting back.

Hopefully this update has satisfied the curiosity of many. I will try to be more regular from now on. Thanks for all the love and prayers. I love you all!

Shopping Therapy

This afternoon, though the weather was brisk and cool, I discovered the very best of all the therapies this hospital has to offer, and found it to be exceptional: shopping therapy! Though I started the morning dragging about as usual (not always a lot to look forward to around here), after our day, I am now feeling energized and refreshed. This feeling will most likely stay with me another day or two, until it's time to head for home.

See, each Saturday in the hospital, they load up vans full of as many of us that want to go, and head to a place 30 minutes away called Rosarito Beach. We signed up last week when the weather was so beautiful but missed the trip on account of a treatment I was taking in my room at the time they decided to leave, which was 30 minutes before the designated time. I was really bummed, so that was the day we found our way around Tijuana and visited the beach here, which was nice but didn't include the "shopping" part of the therapy. Today we made the trip, and I have had a fantastic time!

We really didn't even see any kind of a beach. What we saw was a meandering open-air marketplace crammed full of all kinds of the junk you don't really need but have fun looking at and buying anyway. They had everything you could imagine, such as jewelry, clothes, bags, knives and brass knuckles, pottery, hair pieces, hats, beads, just about everything. We tried to pick up a little something for the kids and those who helped us with the kids during our absence.
The fun part for me was not only looking at all the merchandise, but spending pesos instead of American money and talking the vendors down to much lower prices than they wanted to sell. It was like a reverse auction. If you didn't like the price, you can walk away, and often times they will meet your price just to make the sale. I know some of you have been to markets like this in other areas. It was lots of fun. I bought myself a pink, woven, calf-length poncho with a collar and buttons down the front, It's soft and warm, and I think I will actually use it at home. I also bought a little of the silver jewelery. I won't let on what else in case someone reading this is expecting a gift. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.

Unbelieveably, I could have kept going for hours! We were only given 2 hours to shop, and we got hungry and tried a local mexican steakhouse for our dinner. It was wonderful, and very well priced. The only problem with that was that it cut into my shopping time. If I'd had more time, I probably would have would up with a gift for every person I know. Mike had to encourage me to show a little restraint. I honestly completely forgot about any health discomforts for the entire afternoon.

I found, when we got back, that I felt great! The last few days I've felt a bit weak and not up to my best, which many of you know who have been reading my blog. I was a little concerned that I would have trouble staying on my feet the whole time, but once I was out there looking around, I forgot I had any such problems and the time zipped by. See, shopping really can be therapy! I will definitely have to remember that, because it is not something I do very much.

I am concerned tonight about some of you at home. Sounds like a pretty nasty storm has hit the area. I hope not many of you have lost your power. I know things are good at our house, in fact I think several family members from Springfield who lost their power are camping out at our place to keep warm. Just in case you think we are too fortunate, it was very cold and windy here today. The stalls of the shopping area blocked the wind, but the temperature was very chilly--mcuh colder than Mexico normally gets this time of year. I think the high today might have reached 45. We really didn't bring clothes for that--we needed scarves and gloves, and all. Mike ended up purchasing a stocking cap to keep warm. Lovely souvenir. He didn't even get a stylish one. It looks just like the black bank-robber style stocking cap he left at home.

Only 2 more days to go here. Tomorrow we have a worship service to look forward to with Dr. Contreras, who runs the hospital, and Monday I have another round of treatments before leaving. Time has passed quickly, though not quickly enough. I'm anxious to get home and see you all. I hope our flight into Springfield isn't delayed on account of weather. If so, I might have to resort to some more shopping therapy to get me though the wait. The Dallas airport has some nice little shops. That, I suppose, remains to be seen. Until then, hang on, and keep warm! Lots of love--Sandi

Couple of Rough Days-But On the Up-Swing Now

It is so, so, so good to read the comments-thanks so much to you all for reading and sharing your thoughts. It keeps me so close to you all at home. As the title tonight mentioned, it's been a couple of rough days, but hopefully things are improving.

Yesterday, when I woke, it was very early and I was out of sorts--couldn't sleep, too weak to be up, restless, in pain. It was a terrible morning. They tell us that it happens in the middle of most people's treatments; these bad days. Mike really had to come through for me and he did. He put me back to bed, then went and got my breakfast, which is down a floor and required several trips for drinks and everything. I ate a bit, choked down my supplements, and slept for a few hours. Before I could settle down, though, I really fell apart--tears, whining, complaining, the whole un-Sandi-like bit. It was a very shameful low point for me. It took quite a bit of consoling and some prayers to bring me back to center. For all the work the Lord is doing here, I believe Satan is also working--no better place than here to fight His work and break His people. Anyone here will tell you of that belief. That may sound a bit far-fetched to some of you who are unfamiliar with "spiritual warfare", but many people will tell you it's real. Where the Lord is at work, Satan is a very real and powerful foe. We took the upper hand with the Lord's help, and today has been a good day.

Well, that is except that I had a reaction to an IV treatment, called Perftec, and it was unusual because most people who react do so on the first treatment. I was in bed having my treatment, talking to the doctor and everything was normal. Then the doctor left, Mike went back to what he was doing, and then I started to have these shooting pains up my back and down my legs. I told Mike to get the doctor, and I was calm. He said, "Why? She's halfway down the hall." I said, "Get the doctor! Now! I'm hurting! I'm having a reaction. Get the doctor!" He shot out of the room and soon a nurse arrived and shut off my drip. The doctor arrived and thought at first it was a joke since I had just spoken to her. She looked at me crumpled on the bed in tears, and couldn't believe it. I was afraid that it would mean I couldn't use the chemical any more, but apparently they can just give an anti-histamine and then continue at a slower rate. But, the rate was SO slow that I had to miss lunch. Then I had all my other treatments, which seemed to take forever. Finally they finished and I got to go eat. The meal, though tiresome, was prepared for me, and I ate my fill. It doesn't take much. They even make me a protein shake, at my request, and it's not bad. They are so kind here.

Arrangements are in the works for our return in 5 weeks. But first we have to get home from this trip. On Monday we will check out of the hospital complete with a new suitcase loaded down with a three month supply of supplements and meds to take at home. We will go to a hotel in San Diego where we will have to find our own dinner and pay for it, and after a leisurely night in what we hope will be a comfortable bed, we will fly home Tuesday morning. We plan to arrive around 6:30 p.m. Tuesday in the Springifeld airport.

Our return to the hospital in 5 weeks will be February 12. This time, Mike plans to stay at home/work and my sister is planning to come. Depending on the cost, my mom may come too. Might even make arrangements for Dad to come too. They can stay in a hotel nearby and have meals with us. Everyone is anxious to see what this is really like. The second stay will already be paid for, and the stay will last 6 days. Speaking of cost, have I mentioned how close the original donkey ball game donations came to covering the cost of the stay, which covers 5 years of follow-ups? The original donations were within $1000 of what we needed, and then several additional private donations covered the several-thousand dollar expenses for previous supplements, plane tickets, and so on. Those of you who donated-and those of you who wanted to and couldn't at the time--thank you so very much! This has been such a blessing. Knowing that we won't have to repay this money is a huge load off our minds. We feel so blessed, and know that this is what is meant by the Lord making provisions for his people.

Probably enough a sermon for now. Though it's been a tough couple of days, I don't want anyone to think I've given up. Tonight I feel stronger, and I believe we have passed through the hardest part. I still, maybe more than before, believe we are here in the right place for the right reasons. Healing has already begun. And, for those of you wondering, I am gaining weight. Almost back up to 115. Got down to almost 100 there for a while. To me it is a sign of other healing taking place. Thank you for all your prayers, thoughts, and comments. Some of you have sent scripture, too, which has been nice. I'll be signing off for tonight. I look forward to more comments! Love you all! Goodnight!