Another Long-Awaited Update

This is the second time today I have written this blog. How aggravating! I wrote it out once this morning and was about one paragraph from finishing when the computer locked up without warning, and I lost the whole thing! There was nothing I could do. It felt like writing a paper for school and forgetting to save it. Ah, well, maybe this second version will be better!

It's been a while. I apologize for that. I have been chastised again by a variety of people, so I thought I'd better get with it. I know that some of you received an update at school through a letter Rick forwarded from Sheryl, and while I appreciate that Sheryl was giving you all an update, I thought it sounded a bit glum and that it might worry some of you into thinking that I wasn't really felling like myself. The part where she said I hadn't updated because I "didn't know what to write" might have been the most concerning of all to those of you who know me well. Most of you know I love to write, and could never truly be at a loss of what to write about. For the most part, the possibilities are endless. A more accurate statement would be that I don't really have anything interesting to say in the blog. I've used this communication source for updates on my condition, and since nothing is really going on except the extremely slow process of healing, there 's not much to update on. Overall, I feel pretty much the same as the last time I wrote.

Many of us had hoped for a much faster result, I know. People all the time tell me that they expected me to come back from Mexico feeling better and that I would improve noticeably while I was at home. Unfortunately, we are not in control of the timeline here, so we have to be patient and continue to believe in the treatment method we have chosen, with the faith that it will work, given time. I think it's a lot like watching grass grow. It's pretty uninteresting to watch and nothing seems to happen at all, but one day you wake up and it's gotten so long you have to cut it or lose sight of the house from the street. I think healing is happening where we can't see it yet.

We will have the chance to see how I'm doing soon though. I'm going to Mexico again on Sunday, and there should be a CT scan on Monday with results probably the next day. If the doctor doesn't see significant progress internally, he will begin a more aggressive treatment that very day. They have more options than what I'm currently doing; backup, so to say. They are even seeing me a little early; 5 weeks instead of the usual 6. This doctor is aware of my stage of illness, he knows it's pretty late in the game. But at that clinic, there have been many people healed who are worse off than me. This doctor wants to get a jump on things in case it's not working like he would like to see. I'm not too concerned, though. I see little improvements, which I will tell you about in just a moment.

As far as our trip goes, we will arrive at the hospital on Monday, February 12, and we will return home on Monday, February 19. We will be at the hospital until Saturday. During the week, I will see the doctor each day, have some tests, and take the IV treatments like last time I was there. Then I will come home and resume my home protocol. This time, in addition to Mike, my sister and mom plan to come to the hospital as companions. They plan to see what it's like to be a rabbit for a while. I'm excited to have them see this place; it's pretty special.

People I see continue to ask how I feel, and usually I tell them that I feel about the same. I guess I down-play the improvement when people ask because on a day to day basis, I feel so little change.That's probably a little misleading. In small ways, I do think I feel a little better. I'm able to eat more without so much discomfort, and I'm up and around more than I was right after coming home. I think we finally have my pain issues worked out. I have been on pain killers for so long they seemed to not be working very well, but then I found out I was on a pretty low dose. They increased it substantially and that seems to have helped. I don't feel drugged, but I feel almost normal where I usually have so much discomfort. On a daily basis, I don't really think about how I feel, so it's often hard to anwer that question when people ask. So if I see you or talk to you and you ask how I feel, I might be pretty vague. Please don't be offended or think I'm blowing off your question, because I don't mean to offend. I'm just keeping my eye one the prize at the end, and I think that how I feel today isn't really all that important. One of these days my answer is going to be "great!" and I will mean it!

One thing I forgot to mention to you all in my blog is a procedure I had done on my kidneys. I may have mentioned in an earlier post that the doctor in Mexico saw a blockage of one kidney and recommended that I have that fixed. I saw a urologist when we got back and last week I spent about three hours at the hospital having stents put in both ureters; one to remove the pressure causing the blockage and the other to prevent the other kidney from having the same problem. It was a painless outpatient procedure and it had no lasting effects on how I feel. I was in and out pretty quick, and there was no incision involved. I'll have to have the stents changed eventually. Then it's even easier and they do the procedure in the doctors office most of the time. So I guess we can say that's one problem resolved.

Well, I guess I've probably covered everything in terms of an update. I may not write again until we are in Mexico, and then I will probably write every day or two. If any of you have any questions in between times I write, please don't be afraid to call me (I prefer my cell phone) or email me. I get the feeling some of you stay away because you don't want to "bother" me, or because you don't know what to say. You guys are my friends, and I'd love to hear from you. You can talk to me about anything you'd normally talk to me about. I may have a serious illness, but I don't spend all my time thinking about it. I miss my friends. I love to hear from you and hear what's going on in your lives, and at school. I even like it when my friends tell me about their problems. None of this "but you have enough to worry about ..." nonsense. Actually, I'd love to talk about somebody else for a change. I'm tired of talking about me!

That does it for now. Hope everyone has a good day, and that I get this posted without losing it again. I don't really feel like doing this a third time. Love and blessings! Sandi